I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
