That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
