I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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