hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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