Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You smell like stripper and shame
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
