Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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