Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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