**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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