Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
