Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
