My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
