I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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