You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
