so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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