Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
