No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Still dying that you shit outside
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
