It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
