Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
