You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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