Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
two words...techno handjob
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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