so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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