Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
