Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
