Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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