she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
