i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
