Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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