No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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