i think my mom watched the whole time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
