Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
