Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The power of my boobs compel you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
