I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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