you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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