Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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