OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
