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the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
