You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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