He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
