my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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