College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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