Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
