I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are we still banned from the library?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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