Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
