Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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