Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
