i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
