We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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