lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
