She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
