You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
