We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
