He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
