craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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