i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
