this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
