erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
