Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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