I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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