I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
