the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
