My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
