So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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