Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
