love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
