its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
