Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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