im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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