it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
