how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When are your genitals available?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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