Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
