i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
