And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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