Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I am naked and annoyed.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
