Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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